Rant: Friends with Benefits

...No, not that kind of friend, mind out of the gutter.

Yes I'm well aware that the typical idea of a friend with benefits includes but is not limited to acts of frivolous sexual inhibitions without strings attached (aka no dropping the boyfriend/girlfriend bomb)

But there's an entirely different kind of friend with benefits that often times gets the short end of the stick. They go out of their way to help a pal in need of a pick-me-up, perhaps grab them something while out shopping, maybe even offer advice when needed.

Now you may think 'well that's something most friends would do anyhow, what's the difference?'

Hence where the 'benefits' comes into play.
This kind of friend with benefits is someone who takes advantage of a friend who would, in a nutshell, take a bullet for them if it came down to it. The only real benefits are in their favour, and they may even sway or influence those willing to do anything for them to their liking. Contact is only established when absolutely necessary, perhaps even to give off the illusion of a true friendship and keep the "connection". Oh, this person really cares about me? They said they would do anything for me anytime? Awesome! My own personal errand runner/favour doer/lemme use your car when-the-fuck ever buddy!

But wait, what's this? They suddenly need me to do something for them? 


See what I mean?

I've been both witness and victim to this far too many times to count and it pisses me right off. How low can you seriously go?

Anyhow, I decided to compile a short but highly useful list of warning signs that you may be a friend with benefits. You may be a victim of friendly usage if:
- They don't do shit for you
- When asked to do something for you, they sigh, or complain, or find an excuse
- They don't do shit for you
- The last time they actually did something for you it involved passing the salt

So how does one stop the cycle? Well, for one you can start by not doing anything they ask, though that would make you look like a prick. You can also start throwing their excuses back at them when they request a favour. Or you could poison their food (please don't actually poison their food) Eventually they should catch on, though some will just keep trying and probably couldn't take a hint if it smacked them in the face.

It's not fair to you if this is the treatment you're receiving from a "friend", so why stay friends with them? There are plenty of better people out there to spend your time with, instead of running around trying to please those who wouldn't do the same for you in your own time of need. Flip them the bird and dedicate your time to those who would readily lend a hand as soon as you would for them.

Because let's face it, everyone benefits from that.


Shaun Mathes said...

I will second that and this right here is def gonna make me put a stop to this persons usage on me. couldnt have cared before, but i find that this person does me no good anyways and never keeps in contact.. so im just gonna cut the ties between us..

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