Rant: Christmas Lights

I'd be better off just dedicating this blog to my many rants, wouldn't I? OH WAIT, PERSONAL BLOG, I DO WHAT I WANT HAHA!

Wow I am decaffeinated today. Lemme nurse this double-shot for a moment.

See I'm noticing a growing trend among the houses in the West End of the city (where I reside) in that the amount of houses turning on their Christmas lights well over a month before the actual holiday season is increasing. Yes it is true that in a lot of places, November is the typical time to start showing that festive spirit. Downtown Portage is already donning those tacky LED fixtures that either display a reindeer or bells and holly or god knows what. I've worked retail, and I am well aware of the importance in early advertising. Start sales early, decorate accordingly, 'tis the season to be BUYING EVERYTHING. 

Alas, it's not the time for my 'Giftmas' rant. That's for next month!

As I was saying, the thing that really makes me wrack my fingers on this cheap Ikea desk (I think it's made of wood?) is the people who have their Christmas lights on when Halloween hasn't even pulled up his socks yet. 

No joke. October 14th, I witnessed my neighbour on the opposite side of my street putting up those gaudy, strand-like icicle lights all around his front veranda. I thought perhaps they were just beating the cold weather and playing it smart, and only putting them up for now BUT NO. This guy (we'll call him Dave, because he looked like a Dave. Or an asshat) goes back inside his house and TURNS THEM ON. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IT'S NOT EVEN DARK OUTSIDE YET.

Oh, and what else? Not a single Halloween decoration in sight. Not even a damn pumpkin.

I was flabbergasted. Dude do you NOT own a calendar/a working knowledge of the holidays? Do you not notice that while you're playing Santa's little helper, the rest of the freaking neighbourhood is literally plastered in black and orange and spooky stuff in general? 

Dammit Dave, it's people like you that make my street look silly, not the hippies.

See my belief is that the 'grace period' for turning on your Christmas lights is November 1st at the earliest. Any sooner and people start doing that dreaded double-take as they pass by your house. I think Dave confused a shit ton of trick or treaters.

Am I biased or is this time frame reasonable? Don't get me wrong, I am no Grinch or Scrooge by any means, but this is ridiculous. Putting those lights up early? Smart. Turning them on and making yourself the laughing stock of the West End? 

Just don't. Don't be a Dave.


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